So we had a great Christmas! I admit that this year was a tad bit strange because this was the first year that I did not fly back to Oklahoma. It was Hannah and I's first Christmas on our own..... And we didn't have a Camera... : (
Although we were not with my family back in Oklahoma, we were with our surrogate family here in Oregon, the Temperinis. I LOVE them! We had a great time with some great people. Curt and Kiley came over with their 2 children Cassey(Cubby) and Jaxon. They are some of the cutest little stinkers I have ever seen and although Cubby pretty much hates me (not really, she just gives me evil stares) I loved having them around, especially Jaxon's cute little smile.
One thing that I realized this year was how grateful I am for the family I have all around me. Hannah and I just recently moved out to the northwest and really didn't know very many people, but the few people we did know have been indispensable. If it were not for the Temperinis we would not have had a place to stay and would not have found the home we have today. If it were not for Tom Gibbons I would not have the job I have and would not be able to afford anything, let alone the new place we are renting. Also, with Hannah being pregnant we have a FLOOD of people saying how they have toys, car seats, swings, cribs, cloths, and almost everything we would need for a baby that they will give to us. We are so lucky and blessed! I know that it is no longer Thanksgiving, but I am really grateful for all the help and love we have received.
Once again, we don't have a working camera, but as soon as we do we will have pictures :)
There was once a man and a woman who fell in love... this is their story.
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Friday, December 28, 2012
"The One"
Disclaimer: This post is not about finding "The One". It is more about how we are all our own unique individuals and how this impresses me.
Well friends, I made some of my goals. Ron and I did make a gingerbread house, and we were going to post pictures but currently do not have a device that will take pictures the way we want them to be taken. I did NOT make the plate of goodies. I did make spritz cookies (something my mom did growing up, I can now appreciate why she hated making them) and Ron and I ate all of the batch (oops!). I did visit my best friend in town. I talked to her for like 4.5 hours. Oh how I miss my best friends! Their children are growing up so fast and I miss talking to them, especially that I will now be in a similar stage of life (although having multiple children won't be in the picture for at least 2 more years with us). Still having a child brings lots of things to relate about, something I have been looking forward to since I got married. I could literally write pages about this, but will spare you all that fortune.
We did not make it to the temple before Christmas, and I am still pondering about what I want to give Christ this year. There are a lot of things I have thought about, but have not solidified one to be of the right criteria.
So onto what really inspired this post....."The One".
I have been following this blog for at least 6 months (I found it by accident one day and have kept reading.) I like her inspirations and really appreciate how organized her thoughts are. Today she talked about meeting up with a friend in Durham (NC for all who don't know where that is). She hyper-linked it and I started reading her website too. After about an hour of reading (it was great to read someone else's birth story....makes me excited...and makes Ron laugh at me. Love that man) I went to some of the blogs she follows and stumbled upon a great chef and photographer. I didn't really have a chance to explore her blog more, but I am excited to excavate and discover what gems are there.
I have never really felt that I write well and this is why: I don't get to the point fast enough for what I think others want. It hit me just how unique everyone is in this world, with our 7+ billion population, not to mention the billions that have already lived. When I reading the blog of the person in Durham, NC, she mentioned her anxiety about having a child and working full-time. She discussed how she didn't have a role model for that: her mom was a stay at home mother who cooked wholesome meals and watched over her children. I find that so fascinating. I had just the opposite. My mother choose to work full-time from the time I was at least 4 years old and would have worked more had we not been in a foreign country with the Army. By the time I was 7, she had to work full-time because my parents divorced. Well, she went to school for a couple of years and then worked full-time. When my sisters were in high school she worked a second job to have more money and to take care of their needs (we all played sports and that can be expensive even when you are being frugal). This blogger didn't elaborate much about her childhood, but I sat for a second to think about what that would have been like to have a mother at home all the time. The woman who took care of me if I was sick passed away a year ago. She was the stay at home mom who had great meals and priceless advice. Even to the last time I spoke with her, she was still her amazing self. Interestingly enough, she was a stay at home because her husband grew up in a divorced family where his mom worked full time to provide for her kids and he never wanted his children to have to experience the same loneliness and independence (not a great thing sometimes) that he was forced to experience growing up.
As to the food blogger, it looks like she has never had children and I am not sure if she is married. Two things very common in society today. But so different from me. And I don't share this observation with criticism: I share my thoughts because I am intrigued as to what makes people tick. Why do people do what they do? Why do some people have an innate desire to populate the earth, while others are scared to death with the idea, while some are just not ready and they want that some time in their life, but not sure if now is the right time? Honestly, it fascinates me how this is. I guess I should mention I have spent the last 10 years studying this in depth, and I still have very few answers. But, I do care to share one observation: There are thousands of things behind why people are who they are and what they do. I will never know the full answer to the my questions, and I am learning to accept that.
So- That was my one musing for the day: "The One".
Stay tuned: I am going to write more tomorrow (hopefully).
Well friends, I made some of my goals. Ron and I did make a gingerbread house, and we were going to post pictures but currently do not have a device that will take pictures the way we want them to be taken. I did NOT make the plate of goodies. I did make spritz cookies (something my mom did growing up, I can now appreciate why she hated making them) and Ron and I ate all of the batch (oops!). I did visit my best friend in town. I talked to her for like 4.5 hours. Oh how I miss my best friends! Their children are growing up so fast and I miss talking to them, especially that I will now be in a similar stage of life (although having multiple children won't be in the picture for at least 2 more years with us). Still having a child brings lots of things to relate about, something I have been looking forward to since I got married. I could literally write pages about this, but will spare you all that fortune.
We did not make it to the temple before Christmas, and I am still pondering about what I want to give Christ this year. There are a lot of things I have thought about, but have not solidified one to be of the right criteria.
So onto what really inspired this post....."The One".
I have been following this blog for at least 6 months (I found it by accident one day and have kept reading.) I like her inspirations and really appreciate how organized her thoughts are. Today she talked about meeting up with a friend in Durham (NC for all who don't know where that is). She hyper-linked it and I started reading her website too. After about an hour of reading (it was great to read someone else's birth story....makes me excited...and makes Ron laugh at me. Love that man) I went to some of the blogs she follows and stumbled upon a great chef and photographer. I didn't really have a chance to explore her blog more, but I am excited to excavate and discover what gems are there.
I have never really felt that I write well and this is why: I don't get to the point fast enough for what I think others want. It hit me just how unique everyone is in this world, with our 7+ billion population, not to mention the billions that have already lived. When I reading the blog of the person in Durham, NC, she mentioned her anxiety about having a child and working full-time. She discussed how she didn't have a role model for that: her mom was a stay at home mother who cooked wholesome meals and watched over her children. I find that so fascinating. I had just the opposite. My mother choose to work full-time from the time I was at least 4 years old and would have worked more had we not been in a foreign country with the Army. By the time I was 7, she had to work full-time because my parents divorced. Well, she went to school for a couple of years and then worked full-time. When my sisters were in high school she worked a second job to have more money and to take care of their needs (we all played sports and that can be expensive even when you are being frugal). This blogger didn't elaborate much about her childhood, but I sat for a second to think about what that would have been like to have a mother at home all the time. The woman who took care of me if I was sick passed away a year ago. She was the stay at home mom who had great meals and priceless advice. Even to the last time I spoke with her, she was still her amazing self. Interestingly enough, she was a stay at home because her husband grew up in a divorced family where his mom worked full time to provide for her kids and he never wanted his children to have to experience the same loneliness and independence (not a great thing sometimes) that he was forced to experience growing up.
As to the food blogger, it looks like she has never had children and I am not sure if she is married. Two things very common in society today. But so different from me. And I don't share this observation with criticism: I share my thoughts because I am intrigued as to what makes people tick. Why do people do what they do? Why do some people have an innate desire to populate the earth, while others are scared to death with the idea, while some are just not ready and they want that some time in their life, but not sure if now is the right time? Honestly, it fascinates me how this is. I guess I should mention I have spent the last 10 years studying this in depth, and I still have very few answers. But, I do care to share one observation: There are thousands of things behind why people are who they are and what they do. I will never know the full answer to the my questions, and I am learning to accept that.
So- That was my one musing for the day: "The One".
Stay tuned: I am going to write more tomorrow (hopefully).
Monday, December 17, 2012
"Christmas Time is Here"
I am sitting in one of my friend's house (we have been house sitting since last Wednesday, I like it, Ron is excited to go to our home) and listening to Sarah McLachlin and her Christmas album, trying to decide what I want to make for dinners and what I need to buy to make those things and where to buy them.
I had goals this Christmas, things I wanted to become traditions. I hope that I can still accomplish them before the actual day of Christmas.
-Make a gingerbread house with my love.
- Drop off goodie plates/bags to a handful of people who I have come to love much in this mortal journey.
- See my best friend (she gets here on Thursday, hopefully) and her family
- Attend the temple before Christmas
- Ponder and make a decision on what my gift to Christ will be this next year.
Writing about these things makes me feel that I can actually still accomplish what I wanted to. Hooray for adjusting expectations. It is one of the best qualities a person can possess and I think I am starting to accomplish things.
On to another note:
I taught Relief Society yesterday and it was so poignant. The lesson was titled, "Righteous Living in Perilous Times". There were two people there that are not members of my congregation. I hope that they were able to feel of what the message was: We can have peace amid such wickedness. It will be hard to maintain, but it is not unconquerable. It means making and keeping commitments. It means in essence living the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I have thought about the hard things that have happened in the world this past couple of weeks: two shootings, one school stabbing are just some of the big headlines. We haven't heard about the person who was murdered in our city or the various people who passed away tragically, unexpected, finally after long bouts with cancer. There is much sorrow in the world it seems. I don't wish to dwell upon them, not because I want to block them out, but because I wish to dwell upon goodness that is still going on amidst such wickedness. I was watching a talk show the other day (haven't watched it until or since that day) but they were discussing transgender children. There was a child on there, who is 7, and has male genitalia, but looks exactly like a girl. He believes God only messed up on one thing and that was his reproductive organs. He wants and believes he is a girl. His parents have given in and treated him like a girl. But there was something that came to mind when I was watching this along with reading an article written by a mother of a 13 year old boy who struggles with lots of things. I have a best friend who has a son like this, however he is only 4.5 years old. Super smart, but has lots of breakdowns.
I think about the challenges people face in this mortal experience. Some things are so hard. Some things are not. But I find that the only real thing that brings sense to it all is the Gospel of Jesus Christ. And it is not just doctrine, it is PERSONAL SPIRITUAL HABITS. Every day contact with Deity. Checking in, talking with them, talking with the person you made a covenant with (your spouse). If you don't have a spouse, it is finding people to talk to. It is becoming clearer and clearer that one cannot solely rely upon their previous witnesses to help them ride out the waves of life. It is reaffirming those witnesses everyday, and when the Giver of those experiences gives those reassurances (after much asking usually) we express deep gratitude for them. My heart does weep in its silent chambers for the sorrow of man. However, my heart rejoices because of the deliverance of the Almighty, who is full of grace and truth. We will make it out of here alive, if we choose to.
Christmas time is here. Happiness and cheer. Even though the real Christmas is April 6th, I am grateful for a world that still has goodness in it. Be of Good Cheer my friends. Our future is as bright as our faith.
-Hannah
I had goals this Christmas, things I wanted to become traditions. I hope that I can still accomplish them before the actual day of Christmas.
-Make a gingerbread house with my love.
- Drop off goodie plates/bags to a handful of people who I have come to love much in this mortal journey.
- See my best friend (she gets here on Thursday, hopefully) and her family
- Attend the temple before Christmas
- Ponder and make a decision on what my gift to Christ will be this next year.
Writing about these things makes me feel that I can actually still accomplish what I wanted to. Hooray for adjusting expectations. It is one of the best qualities a person can possess and I think I am starting to accomplish things.
On to another note:
I taught Relief Society yesterday and it was so poignant. The lesson was titled, "Righteous Living in Perilous Times". There were two people there that are not members of my congregation. I hope that they were able to feel of what the message was: We can have peace amid such wickedness. It will be hard to maintain, but it is not unconquerable. It means making and keeping commitments. It means in essence living the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I have thought about the hard things that have happened in the world this past couple of weeks: two shootings, one school stabbing are just some of the big headlines. We haven't heard about the person who was murdered in our city or the various people who passed away tragically, unexpected, finally after long bouts with cancer. There is much sorrow in the world it seems. I don't wish to dwell upon them, not because I want to block them out, but because I wish to dwell upon goodness that is still going on amidst such wickedness. I was watching a talk show the other day (haven't watched it until or since that day) but they were discussing transgender children. There was a child on there, who is 7, and has male genitalia, but looks exactly like a girl. He believes God only messed up on one thing and that was his reproductive organs. He wants and believes he is a girl. His parents have given in and treated him like a girl. But there was something that came to mind when I was watching this along with reading an article written by a mother of a 13 year old boy who struggles with lots of things. I have a best friend who has a son like this, however he is only 4.5 years old. Super smart, but has lots of breakdowns.
I think about the challenges people face in this mortal experience. Some things are so hard. Some things are not. But I find that the only real thing that brings sense to it all is the Gospel of Jesus Christ. And it is not just doctrine, it is PERSONAL SPIRITUAL HABITS. Every day contact with Deity. Checking in, talking with them, talking with the person you made a covenant with (your spouse). If you don't have a spouse, it is finding people to talk to. It is becoming clearer and clearer that one cannot solely rely upon their previous witnesses to help them ride out the waves of life. It is reaffirming those witnesses everyday, and when the Giver of those experiences gives those reassurances (after much asking usually) we express deep gratitude for them. My heart does weep in its silent chambers for the sorrow of man. However, my heart rejoices because of the deliverance of the Almighty, who is full of grace and truth. We will make it out of here alive, if we choose to.
Christmas time is here. Happiness and cheer. Even though the real Christmas is April 6th, I am grateful for a world that still has goodness in it. Be of Good Cheer my friends. Our future is as bright as our faith.
-Hannah
Thursday, December 13, 2012
The World is ENDING!
Well, I figured I should write a post since the world is going to end in 8 days!! :D I think this whole Mayan calendar/ Nostradamus/ dooms day / whatever else you want to believe in, are all kind of funny to me. Don't get me wrong, I actually do believe that eventually the world as we know it today will end, but it is my belief that it will be because of the coming of the Savior. Anyway, regardless of what you believe I think we should all still be pretty hopeful.
I've done a decent amount of research on the whole 12/21/12 thing and from everything I have found is that IF something does happen it is only going to be something to move us forward, not stop us in our tracks. Just because the Mayan calendar ends does not mean its the end of the world. They where very intelligent people who aligned everything they did with the starts and since the calendar had to end somewhere why not end it on a time that is significant to them; the ushering of a new age?
I do not see any reason why people need to be frighted, no matter what they believe. Sure, it is good to save and stock up in case a situation happens where you can't go to the store, but I don't think it needs to get to the point of expecting it. Doesn't this remind you of the Cold War?
In the Cold War almost everyone was certain there would be a nuclear fallout. They believe the world would start setting off nuclear bombs and would end all life as they knew it. It went so far as to have everyday people buying bomb shelters and and stocking up food supplies to last them for months. Some researchers even say it was a merical that we never actually got to that point and in some instances was only one button push away from launching the missiles themselves. To me, these people had much more of a reason to worry. They saw that it could happen any day and began preparing, but even int hat "sure" circumstance the threat never happened. Which leads me to think that the end is not as predictable as we may wish to believe. The bible tells us it will come as a "thief in the night" implying that nobody will know, and isn't that the point? If we knew when the end was coming we would all prepare and "Change our ways", but God doesn't want deathbed repentance. He want full and true repentance.
Ultimately, I think we just need to chill and relax a little. We should be preparing for the end constantly so if the end should come sooner or later you should be the person you want to be and have prepared for the future.
I've done a decent amount of research on the whole 12/21/12 thing and from everything I have found is that IF something does happen it is only going to be something to move us forward, not stop us in our tracks. Just because the Mayan calendar ends does not mean its the end of the world. They where very intelligent people who aligned everything they did with the starts and since the calendar had to end somewhere why not end it on a time that is significant to them; the ushering of a new age?
I do not see any reason why people need to be frighted, no matter what they believe. Sure, it is good to save and stock up in case a situation happens where you can't go to the store, but I don't think it needs to get to the point of expecting it. Doesn't this remind you of the Cold War?
In the Cold War almost everyone was certain there would be a nuclear fallout. They believe the world would start setting off nuclear bombs and would end all life as they knew it. It went so far as to have everyday people buying bomb shelters and and stocking up food supplies to last them for months. Some researchers even say it was a merical that we never actually got to that point and in some instances was only one button push away from launching the missiles themselves. To me, these people had much more of a reason to worry. They saw that it could happen any day and began preparing, but even int hat "sure" circumstance the threat never happened. Which leads me to think that the end is not as predictable as we may wish to believe. The bible tells us it will come as a "thief in the night" implying that nobody will know, and isn't that the point? If we knew when the end was coming we would all prepare and "Change our ways", but God doesn't want deathbed repentance. He want full and true repentance.
Ultimately, I think we just need to chill and relax a little. We should be preparing for the end constantly so if the end should come sooner or later you should be the person you want to be and have prepared for the future.
Monday, December 10, 2012
Well Helloooo!
Well hello all!
I have decided that I am going to contribute more to this blog and make more "our" blog then just "Hannah"'s blog. So basically the way it was intended to be. ;) I'll probably be changing up the layout a bit as well. i'll flair this baby up!
Anyway just wanted to say merry Christmas to all from A Pair of Penguins!
I have decided that I am going to contribute more to this blog and make more "our" blog then just "Hannah"'s blog. So basically the way it was intended to be. ;) I'll probably be changing up the layout a bit as well. i'll flair this baby up!
Anyway just wanted to say merry Christmas to all from A Pair of Penguins!
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Gobble Gobble
So growing up I would usually go to a friend's house for Thanksgiving. Ron grew up that you went to Grandma and Grandpa's house for Thanksgiving. This year we went to one of my favorite places on earth: The Temperini's house. We got there around 12 and ate wonderful snacks (I am still craving Ruffles and French onion dip and wheat thins and spinach dip). Then we did a white elephant exchange. It was fun trying to figure out what I wanted to get for that. I will say for the record: I HATE SHOPPING FOR GIFTS. Period. I am getting better on finding gifts for little kids, but I am pretty insecure when it comes to getting gifts for adults. Around 2:30, with a surprise visit by the missionaries, we finally ate Thanksgiving dinner. I love simple dinners with good people. It makes me feel so happy. And then I took about an hour nap. M&D have black out shades in their room and this awesome foam top that makes their bed feel like you are in heaven. So I had no problem crashing for a while. Then I got up and ate some turkey and people came over.
We left around 8pm. What a wonderful day.
I am grateful for a lot of things, but I feel like there is a lot of gratitude that I express personally. So I am not going to post what I am grateful for just because it is Thanksgiving. I feel it cliche and you are just going to have to read other posts to find out what I am grateful for. Or talk to me and I will tell you.
Peace out.
We left around 8pm. What a wonderful day.
I am grateful for a lot of things, but I feel like there is a lot of gratitude that I express personally. So I am not going to post what I am grateful for just because it is Thanksgiving. I feel it cliche and you are just going to have to read other posts to find out what I am grateful for. Or talk to me and I will tell you.
Peace out.
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Explanation of Absence
Everyday I have a routine: get up, go to the bathroom, eat breakfast and look at blogs.
I always want to contribute by posting my own and I would, but my life is sort of evolved into a secret that I could not reveal until yesterday.
I AM PREGNANT!!!!!!!!
Sorry that I had to wait until 11 weeks to announce it on the internet, but I wanted to make sure we have an actual living critter inside this belly that makes me sick almost everyday. I had told some close friends and family that I was expecting, but that not to count on it because I am still in my first trimester and it is the most common stage for miscarriage, particularly the first time you conceive. So I told the select people that I would have my docs. appointment on Friday, the 16th, and then I would announce it to the world via facebook.
I would like to say for the record, pregnancy has not been super hard on my. I have only thrown up once because I was brushing my teeth, had eaten too much breakfast and it the back of my throat on accident. Other than that, I have had a lot of nausea, at first in the morning and now I have a hard time digesting food in the evening and so it is more acid reflux/indigestion instead of nausea.
I did have some spotting (the common and okay kind) for about 2 weeks and I was really worried, but I know my mom had a period in the beginning when she was pregnant with me, so I am going to blame it on the shift of hormones and my body getting used to the hormones of pregnancy.
Ron has been wonderful to work hard and to let me take it easy for the last two months. When we first moved here, I had a job working for a retirement community as a caregiver. The state of Washington requires that everyone who is in the care-giving field be certified or at least enrolled in a certification class within 90 days of hiring. Well, I got hired and got into the necessary class and started working. 2 weeks into working I was going to start my class. 1 week into working I found out that I was pregnant and was fairly nauseous all that week, and I think it would have been fine to keep working. The problems arose when I started the class and worked 32 hours a week also. My schedule was get up at 4:30, get ready, get Ron up at 5:05 have him drive me to work (because we share a car) work until 1:45, run to catch the bus about .5 mile away, get on the bus, rest for about 2 hours and then catch another bus to go clear across the city to get to my class by 6 pm and stay there until 10 when Ron would pick me up and we would go home and start all over. I was already having anxiety about working and going to the class at the same time, but when I started feeling so sick I was incapacitated, that's when we (Ron and I) had a great discussion and decided that I should not work right now.
It was definitely a blow to my confidence and to some of the goals Ron and I had set to help pay down our expenses before the baby came. But having had a month to really think about it and rest and just take it easy (I have a tendency to really push hard, even too hard sometimes) I feel more and more like this is a very good thing.
The good thing has paid off when I had my first prenatal visit yesterday. I had never had a gynecological exam before and so that was my first time. I really like how the nurse-midwife explained exactly what she was going to do and then told me what she was doing while she did it. We then had an ultra-sound to make sure there was a viable fetus and it was such a fun thing to see an actual live thing in my belly. We got to see the chambers "flutter" because they are moving so fast. We got to see movement of the limbs (it looked like we were being waved to) and then we saw some bouncing going on. I had to really just relax for us to see everything, but even Ron was surprised with how excited he was by seeing the baby moving.
So there it is: My explanation of absence. I have been blessed to have this in my life at this current time. I personally known many struggling to conceive and it has been hard for me to share this news with them because I know it is sensitive information. It amazes me how much the Lord is really in charge of EVERYTHING in our lives, collectively and individually. But I also know that no blessing is forsaken, only by disobedience, and even then, we are given multiple chances.
I love life and learning and here is yet another chapter of trial to come.
+
I always want to contribute by posting my own and I would, but my life is sort of evolved into a secret that I could not reveal until yesterday.
I AM PREGNANT!!!!!!!!
Sorry that I had to wait until 11 weeks to announce it on the internet, but I wanted to make sure we have an actual living critter inside this belly that makes me sick almost everyday. I had told some close friends and family that I was expecting, but that not to count on it because I am still in my first trimester and it is the most common stage for miscarriage, particularly the first time you conceive. So I told the select people that I would have my docs. appointment on Friday, the 16th, and then I would announce it to the world via facebook.
I would like to say for the record, pregnancy has not been super hard on my. I have only thrown up once because I was brushing my teeth, had eaten too much breakfast and it the back of my throat on accident. Other than that, I have had a lot of nausea, at first in the morning and now I have a hard time digesting food in the evening and so it is more acid reflux/indigestion instead of nausea.
I did have some spotting (the common and okay kind) for about 2 weeks and I was really worried, but I know my mom had a period in the beginning when she was pregnant with me, so I am going to blame it on the shift of hormones and my body getting used to the hormones of pregnancy.
Ron has been wonderful to work hard and to let me take it easy for the last two months. When we first moved here, I had a job working for a retirement community as a caregiver. The state of Washington requires that everyone who is in the care-giving field be certified or at least enrolled in a certification class within 90 days of hiring. Well, I got hired and got into the necessary class and started working. 2 weeks into working I was going to start my class. 1 week into working I found out that I was pregnant and was fairly nauseous all that week, and I think it would have been fine to keep working. The problems arose when I started the class and worked 32 hours a week also. My schedule was get up at 4:30, get ready, get Ron up at 5:05 have him drive me to work (because we share a car) work until 1:45, run to catch the bus about .5 mile away, get on the bus, rest for about 2 hours and then catch another bus to go clear across the city to get to my class by 6 pm and stay there until 10 when Ron would pick me up and we would go home and start all over. I was already having anxiety about working and going to the class at the same time, but when I started feeling so sick I was incapacitated, that's when we (Ron and I) had a great discussion and decided that I should not work right now.
It was definitely a blow to my confidence and to some of the goals Ron and I had set to help pay down our expenses before the baby came. But having had a month to really think about it and rest and just take it easy (I have a tendency to really push hard, even too hard sometimes) I feel more and more like this is a very good thing.
The good thing has paid off when I had my first prenatal visit yesterday. I had never had a gynecological exam before and so that was my first time. I really like how the nurse-midwife explained exactly what she was going to do and then told me what she was doing while she did it. We then had an ultra-sound to make sure there was a viable fetus and it was such a fun thing to see an actual live thing in my belly. We got to see the chambers "flutter" because they are moving so fast. We got to see movement of the limbs (it looked like we were being waved to) and then we saw some bouncing going on. I had to really just relax for us to see everything, but even Ron was surprised with how excited he was by seeing the baby moving.
So there it is: My explanation of absence. I have been blessed to have this in my life at this current time. I personally known many struggling to conceive and it has been hard for me to share this news with them because I know it is sensitive information. It amazes me how much the Lord is really in charge of EVERYTHING in our lives, collectively and individually. But I also know that no blessing is forsaken, only by disobedience, and even then, we are given multiple chances.
I love life and learning and here is yet another chapter of trial to come.
+
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Written in our hearts
The General Relief Society Broadcast for my church was last Saturday, so not yesterday, but the week before. Women all over the world gather to receive guidance from our leaders on this evening. The General President, Sister Burton said something to the effect: "We must have the atonement written in our hearts". I read several blogs, most of who are women. They write there thoughts in blog format and then publish for the world to see. Often times I read their words and feel much sorrow for them. But there is something that screams in my heart: You know about the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Why don't you use it?
My intent is not to come off self-righteous because I am one of those struggling with mortality. I have moments where I weep at lost dreams and ideas that will not come to pass in this mortal sphere. But there is something inside that beckons me to continue and not lose hope or trust (faith) in the promises that God has made.
So often we feel alone and sad. But just as President Eyring stated this morning in the 4th general session of conference, It is not the Lord who covered his face with the pavilion. It is us who hides ourselves from Him. My dear readers, even though there are few of you, please listen to my words: I KNOW GOD is Here with me and with you. He has not forsaken you or me. He is in ultimate control of our plans. If you feel anguish or anxiousness it is because you have thought your plan was better than his. Anguish, or more so anxiety in this context, is the result of not relinquishing our will to the father's. I have encountered many people in my little mortal experience and I have found some who's eternal progress is somewhat halted because of their inability to enact humility in their lives, repent and move on. The Lord loves us and wants us to be happy, to have joy and peace in this existence.
I know it and feel it and hope that if you have questions, "you will ask the missionaries" or leaders how you can overcome this challenge.
Life is precious, and short. Why waste it away by asking questions that don't lead to progression?
My intent is not to come off self-righteous because I am one of those struggling with mortality. I have moments where I weep at lost dreams and ideas that will not come to pass in this mortal sphere. But there is something inside that beckons me to continue and not lose hope or trust (faith) in the promises that God has made.
So often we feel alone and sad. But just as President Eyring stated this morning in the 4th general session of conference, It is not the Lord who covered his face with the pavilion. It is us who hides ourselves from Him. My dear readers, even though there are few of you, please listen to my words: I KNOW GOD is Here with me and with you. He has not forsaken you or me. He is in ultimate control of our plans. If you feel anguish or anxiousness it is because you have thought your plan was better than his. Anguish, or more so anxiety in this context, is the result of not relinquishing our will to the father's. I have encountered many people in my little mortal experience and I have found some who's eternal progress is somewhat halted because of their inability to enact humility in their lives, repent and move on. The Lord loves us and wants us to be happy, to have joy and peace in this existence.
I know it and feel it and hope that if you have questions, "you will ask the missionaries" or leaders how you can overcome this challenge.
Life is precious, and short. Why waste it away by asking questions that don't lead to progression?
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Survival of the Fitest
We have made it to Washington.
Lets just say, THIS IS THE RIGHT PLACE FOR US TO BE! Everything has fallen into place. People are so friendly. Our ward is just like our previous ward: Seasoned with the flavor of life and are so willing to help. I found a job and I start tomorrow. Ron loves his job and feels good about the direction it is going. We have a great apartment. Just the right size for just the right price. It makes me think of the apartment I lived in for a 1/3 of my mission: Fontana. Not the worst area, but not the best. Just in the middle.
I love that it is green everywhere. I love that there are still mountains around (Mt. Hood, Mt. Saint Helens is not too far away, you can see it on a clear day). I love the crisp, cool fall weather. I love that there are weirdos here.
Things I miss about Utah:
The red rock-even though I only went to Moab once, I love the red rock and I think it would look great next to the green.
MY FRIENDS- I was thinking that I should set up a skype date with my girlfriends and their kids. Because I can actually attend now (I am working swing shifts).
My family- I love being where we are now, but I miss being physically proximate to my family. I know this is going to be a lot harder to keep in touch and make the effort. I really took for granted how close they were. Now it is a 12 hour drive to get to them. Not too bad, all things considered, but still, 3.5 tanks of gas :(.
Those are just a couple of thoughts. Love to all.
Lets just say, THIS IS THE RIGHT PLACE FOR US TO BE! Everything has fallen into place. People are so friendly. Our ward is just like our previous ward: Seasoned with the flavor of life and are so willing to help. I found a job and I start tomorrow. Ron loves his job and feels good about the direction it is going. We have a great apartment. Just the right size for just the right price. It makes me think of the apartment I lived in for a 1/3 of my mission: Fontana. Not the worst area, but not the best. Just in the middle.
I love that it is green everywhere. I love that there are still mountains around (Mt. Hood, Mt. Saint Helens is not too far away, you can see it on a clear day). I love the crisp, cool fall weather. I love that there are weirdos here.
Things I miss about Utah:
The red rock-even though I only went to Moab once, I love the red rock and I think it would look great next to the green.
MY FRIENDS- I was thinking that I should set up a skype date with my girlfriends and their kids. Because I can actually attend now (I am working swing shifts).
My family- I love being where we are now, but I miss being physically proximate to my family. I know this is going to be a lot harder to keep in touch and make the effort. I really took for granted how close they were. Now it is a 12 hour drive to get to them. Not too bad, all things considered, but still, 3.5 tanks of gas :(.
Those are just a couple of thoughts. Love to all.
Thursday, September 20, 2012
So Long, Farewell
Today I was visiting some of my favorite people on earth. It was such a delightful day. Friends that I haven't seen in a really long time, and ones that I will probably not see for another long time. I must say, one in particular apologized for not keeping better contact. I told her, "But you are not the type of friend I have to talk to everyday so I can fill fulfilled." I love that about this friend. (Shawna)
There were a couple of things I was retaught today. Here they are:
1) Really this life is about rediscovering who you are (an offspring of Deity), recognizing that it is really him who gives you all that you have, that happiness is dependent upon Obedience to Truth (almost always), and that if you have the pure love of Christ in your life, you are motivated to do anything it takes to get home.
2) I have decided that there is a reason I don't have a lot of super close friends. Really when it comes down to it, I don't like negativity in my life. So if you present that to me, I don't really want to be around you. Sorry for you, but not sorry for me. I CHOOSE happiness! I CHOOSE goodness! So, sorry if you don't choose the same things, because I feel sorrow for you. Your life could be so much happier. Light attracts light. Darkness attracts darkness. I choose light. And if you don't respond with a beacon, I usually just don't continue the association. Just saying.
3) If you don't know the whole situation, give or take a grain of salt with the situation. Don't throw down someone's experience just because it is not your own. If someone present's an idea, take it in, process it, and then place it appropriately.
and Lastly
4) If people communicate a clear signal to you that they don't know something, do not give them the service of having you pound something into their heads by repetition. This might work with a child, but adults are adults. If you have that much pride that you can't get over the fact that they didn't know something, or they didn't accept what you had to say, get the (________________) over it. There is probably a reason someone is doing what they are doing, and until you have been commanded to tell that person otherwise, leave it alone. Who are you to play the role of God to others? Seriously people, get over yourselves.
This is my last post from Utah.
I will write again when I get to Washington.
There were a couple of things I was retaught today. Here they are:
1) Really this life is about rediscovering who you are (an offspring of Deity), recognizing that it is really him who gives you all that you have, that happiness is dependent upon Obedience to Truth (almost always), and that if you have the pure love of Christ in your life, you are motivated to do anything it takes to get home.
2) I have decided that there is a reason I don't have a lot of super close friends. Really when it comes down to it, I don't like negativity in my life. So if you present that to me, I don't really want to be around you. Sorry for you, but not sorry for me. I CHOOSE happiness! I CHOOSE goodness! So, sorry if you don't choose the same things, because I feel sorrow for you. Your life could be so much happier. Light attracts light. Darkness attracts darkness. I choose light. And if you don't respond with a beacon, I usually just don't continue the association. Just saying.
3) If you don't know the whole situation, give or take a grain of salt with the situation. Don't throw down someone's experience just because it is not your own. If someone present's an idea, take it in, process it, and then place it appropriately.
and Lastly
4) If people communicate a clear signal to you that they don't know something, do not give them the service of having you pound something into their heads by repetition. This might work with a child, but adults are adults. If you have that much pride that you can't get over the fact that they didn't know something, or they didn't accept what you had to say, get the (________________) over it. There is probably a reason someone is doing what they are doing, and until you have been commanded to tell that person otherwise, leave it alone. Who are you to play the role of God to others? Seriously people, get over yourselves.
This is my last post from Utah.
I will write again when I get to Washington.
Monday, August 13, 2012
So about 2 months ago, Ron and I were driving to Costco to get some gas and then we were heading
home. I had asked him how job hunting was going and he said, “Same old, Same old.” Ron hadn’t had a
job from the end of January to that point. He had done some contract work, but not a steady job. So out
of my mouth comes this comment, “Maybe it’s a sign we aren’t supposed to be here!” Ron looked at me
and said, “Maybe. Where would we move to?”
Me: “Portland, or somewhere else.”
Ron: “How would we do that though?” (Keep in mind, last August when we went on a second
honeymoon to Portland, on our drive back I felt like it was time to leave Provo. We seriously considered
Portland, but we wouldn’t have residency and Ron was still in school at Provo College.)
Me: “Well we could see everything and move there. I don’t know we could stay with the Temperini’s
maybe and see what we could do.”
Ron chewed on that for a little while and kept asking questions and I kept playing Devil’s advocate and
then we went up to Ron’s sister’s house and were like, “What do you guys think?” Also keep in mind,
this sister has been married 10 years and has moved 10 times. Pretty much knows how painful moving
really can be and unless it is needful, that you should just stay in one place.
That was 2 months ago.
Since then, we have sold two of our bookshelves, a dresser, and a pink recliner. That is pretty awesome
all things considered. We have had one DI trip already and will probably be doing another. When I first
spoke with a good friend about it, she was really cautious. She is like a second mother to me and she
voiced realistic concerns. But it is the same feeling that I have had before, when I decided to serve
a mission, and when I decided to marry my best friend. Peace, peace, peace. Goodness and almost
giddiness. Mind you, there are still moments when I am like, ummmm, this is a little scary. Moving
yourself about 800 miles away from the place you have called home the last 9 years, yeah. That is a little
bit to take in. But there is so much that is coming that I can barely take it in.
I know there are challenges ahead, especially because it is a major life change, but there is so much to
be said for the adventure we are about to embark.
The official journey begins November 1st (our contract is up on Halloween) but we might be starting it
sooner. All things in there time.
But here is what I look forward to:
home. I had asked him how job hunting was going and he said, “Same old, Same old.” Ron hadn’t had a
job from the end of January to that point. He had done some contract work, but not a steady job. So out
of my mouth comes this comment, “Maybe it’s a sign we aren’t supposed to be here!” Ron looked at me
and said, “Maybe. Where would we move to?”
Me: “Portland, or somewhere else.”
Ron: “How would we do that though?” (Keep in mind, last August when we went on a second
honeymoon to Portland, on our drive back I felt like it was time to leave Provo. We seriously considered
Portland, but we wouldn’t have residency and Ron was still in school at Provo College.)
Me: “Well we could see everything and move there. I don’t know we could stay with the Temperini’s
maybe and see what we could do.”
Ron chewed on that for a little while and kept asking questions and I kept playing Devil’s advocate and
then we went up to Ron’s sister’s house and were like, “What do you guys think?” Also keep in mind,
this sister has been married 10 years and has moved 10 times. Pretty much knows how painful moving
really can be and unless it is needful, that you should just stay in one place.
That was 2 months ago.
Since then, we have sold two of our bookshelves, a dresser, and a pink recliner. That is pretty awesome
all things considered. We have had one DI trip already and will probably be doing another. When I first
spoke with a good friend about it, she was really cautious. She is like a second mother to me and she
voiced realistic concerns. But it is the same feeling that I have had before, when I decided to serve
a mission, and when I decided to marry my best friend. Peace, peace, peace. Goodness and almost
giddiness. Mind you, there are still moments when I am like, ummmm, this is a little scary. Moving
yourself about 800 miles away from the place you have called home the last 9 years, yeah. That is a little
bit to take in. But there is so much that is coming that I can barely take it in.
I know there are challenges ahead, especially because it is a major life change, but there is so much to
be said for the adventure we are about to embark.
The official journey begins November 1st (our contract is up on Halloween) but we might be starting it
sooner. All things in there time.
But here is what I look forward to:
I can officially say it
So, remember that post where I talked about loving my husband....it still applies.
I can finally put it out there for the public to see.
WE ARE MOVING!!!!!!!
To the beautiful area of Portland/Vancouver.
I am pretty excited for the fact that we are moving from Utah. It has been over 4 months of pondering, thinking, researching, praying, fasting, all of this list multiple times.....to decide it is the thing that Ron and I are needing to do. He found an AMAZING program at Clark College and he will be attending there in January. He still will be doing online classes with UVU so that he can get those GE classes out of the way, but I am so excited.
We are truly being blessed for this move and even though I have been SUPER HESITANT at things going too fast, I feel like everything is working out for the best.
We are excited for this adventure, and it will be an amazing thing!
-Will you keep you updated on how everything goes in the next couple of weeks.
Hannah
I can finally put it out there for the public to see.
WE ARE MOVING!!!!!!!
To the beautiful area of Portland/Vancouver.
I am pretty excited for the fact that we are moving from Utah. It has been over 4 months of pondering, thinking, researching, praying, fasting, all of this list multiple times.....to decide it is the thing that Ron and I are needing to do. He found an AMAZING program at Clark College and he will be attending there in January. He still will be doing online classes with UVU so that he can get those GE classes out of the way, but I am so excited.
We are truly being blessed for this move and even though I have been SUPER HESITANT at things going too fast, I feel like everything is working out for the best.
We are excited for this adventure, and it will be an amazing thing!
-Will you keep you updated on how everything goes in the next couple of weeks.
Hannah
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Knowing you love your husband
Is when you are blogging while your husband is using his 48 hours of XBOX live to hang out with his high school friends. Playing Halo, of all the games he could play.
Knowing you love your husband when you are willing to spend 6 weeks without him.
Couple of insights the last couple of days:
- One, when you don't have children and most of the people around you do and you don't know what to blog about because your life is just you and your husband and work. Family every once in a while, but not having the same thing to blog about as most of the world (well, the blogging world that I follow).
- Promises are promises and they can be trusted when they are from a perfect person, even when you don't really want to trust them because it literally scares you to death (spiritually speaking).
- Feeling like the weight of the world is on your shoulders because your life is about to change so drastically you have no idea what to expect. Oh wait, try that being the last 5.5 years of my life.
and last but certainly not least:
- When you have learned the art of sarcasm and those around understand it. Because you were being truly ironic, and not rude to people, but just being literally opposite of all of what you expect.
Welcome to my world.
Knowing you love your husband when you are willing to spend 6 weeks without him.
Couple of insights the last couple of days:
- One, when you don't have children and most of the people around you do and you don't know what to blog about because your life is just you and your husband and work. Family every once in a while, but not having the same thing to blog about as most of the world (well, the blogging world that I follow).
- Promises are promises and they can be trusted when they are from a perfect person, even when you don't really want to trust them because it literally scares you to death (spiritually speaking).
- Feeling like the weight of the world is on your shoulders because your life is about to change so drastically you have no idea what to expect. Oh wait, try that being the last 5.5 years of my life.
and last but certainly not least:
- When you have learned the art of sarcasm and those around understand it. Because you were being truly ironic, and not rude to people, but just being literally opposite of all of what you expect.
Welcome to my world.
Sunday, July 15, 2012
"One is not like the others" Response.
My sister recently posted a pretty personal post and I wanted to write much more in my comment than I did because there wasn't enough space.
So I thought I would write it here.
This is what I started out with:
I don't think the question really is, "when will I begin to be loved for who I am?" Because there are already many people who love you for exactly who you are. I think the question behind the question you posted was, "When will the person who is to be my eternal companion come along and love me for who I really am?" For that, there is no answer that any one can give that will suffice the longing and yearning that you feel, other than God himself. Love the Lord, love yourself, and live your plan to its fullest. --->this is what I ended up leaving, but here are the rest of my thoughts.
So many times we want something that is good and righteous, and full out natural, but we want it now and we think we know best. Sometimes the "Great Being" gives it to us, but most of the time he doesn't. Then we start to become hurt and angry that we didn't get it when we thought we were ready, and this leads to resentment and pride. For example, I have many friends that want to be married or pregnant (most married, but some single want both marriage and babies). And it is very interesting to see how each reacts to it. The ones that have humbled themselves and have started to see things as they really are, those are ones that eventually get what they want. Most of the times it is years later, but they do get what they want. The ones that turn resentful and angry and pretty much turn their backs on the "Great Being" get their temporary reward, but years later are at a completely different spot than those of their counterparts.
I am not saying it is "bad" to have those feelings, it is what you do with them. It is hard, but it is much better in the end to humble ourselves and live life to its fullest now. I feel a lot of peace since I stopped worrying about when Ron and I would have children. They will come in their own time. It was the same way with getting married. I had decided about 6 months after my mission that I was okay with being single the rest of this mortal period, but I had a witness that would not be the case. I then almost married someone and even though it was the hardest thing to break up with that man, it was the greatest blessing also. Yeah, I was pretty angry and numb for about 6 or so months, especially because we still lived near each other, but then I had another witness that there was nothing wrong with me or that man, it just was no longer the 'right' thing for us to pursue an eternal relationship. That is when the healing started and I started living my life fully again. I got involved in tons of service and volunteering. I got outside of myself and I left it in the "Great Being's" hands. It was over a year later that I started dating my husband. Yes, I went on dates with other guys between these two serious relationships, and I really got to be good friends with a lot of guys. But it wasn't the "Great Being's" time for me to have an eternal relationship. In the end, I got what I wanted and I love my husband.
In essence, Love God, love ourselves and live life to our fullest. We are the ones who stop ourselves from doing that. It is a process and I don't blame anyone for questioning. However, we would do everyone a favor, including ourselves, to become trusting and submitting sooner rather than later. Because in the end we just hurt ourselves and those around others when we don't.
So I thought I would write it here.
This is what I started out with:
I don't think the question really is, "when will I begin to be loved for who I am?" Because there are already many people who love you for exactly who you are. I think the question behind the question you posted was, "When will the person who is to be my eternal companion come along and love me for who I really am?" For that, there is no answer that any one can give that will suffice the longing and yearning that you feel, other than God himself. Love the Lord, love yourself, and live your plan to its fullest. --->this is what I ended up leaving, but here are the rest of my thoughts.
So many times we want something that is good and righteous, and full out natural, but we want it now and we think we know best. Sometimes the "Great Being" gives it to us, but most of the time he doesn't. Then we start to become hurt and angry that we didn't get it when we thought we were ready, and this leads to resentment and pride. For example, I have many friends that want to be married or pregnant (most married, but some single want both marriage and babies). And it is very interesting to see how each reacts to it. The ones that have humbled themselves and have started to see things as they really are, those are ones that eventually get what they want. Most of the times it is years later, but they do get what they want. The ones that turn resentful and angry and pretty much turn their backs on the "Great Being" get their temporary reward, but years later are at a completely different spot than those of their counterparts.
I am not saying it is "bad" to have those feelings, it is what you do with them. It is hard, but it is much better in the end to humble ourselves and live life to its fullest now. I feel a lot of peace since I stopped worrying about when Ron and I would have children. They will come in their own time. It was the same way with getting married. I had decided about 6 months after my mission that I was okay with being single the rest of this mortal period, but I had a witness that would not be the case. I then almost married someone and even though it was the hardest thing to break up with that man, it was the greatest blessing also. Yeah, I was pretty angry and numb for about 6 or so months, especially because we still lived near each other, but then I had another witness that there was nothing wrong with me or that man, it just was no longer the 'right' thing for us to pursue an eternal relationship. That is when the healing started and I started living my life fully again. I got involved in tons of service and volunteering. I got outside of myself and I left it in the "Great Being's" hands. It was over a year later that I started dating my husband. Yes, I went on dates with other guys between these two serious relationships, and I really got to be good friends with a lot of guys. But it wasn't the "Great Being's" time for me to have an eternal relationship. In the end, I got what I wanted and I love my husband.
In essence, Love God, love ourselves and live life to our fullest. We are the ones who stop ourselves from doing that. It is a process and I don't blame anyone for questioning. However, we would do everyone a favor, including ourselves, to become trusting and submitting sooner rather than later. Because in the end we just hurt ourselves and those around others when we don't.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Montage
So,
Pretty much here is the rest of the story.
The point I was trying to make in the previous post, which did NOT happen, was that forgiveness is really important in our lives. And who a better person to practice on than God!
He doesn't NEED our forgiveness because he hasn't wronged us, but often times when our dreams are shattered to become better than what we had in store, we feel wronged and we have to practice forgiving Him and ourselves.
Second thought: Some people are just not ready for what they most want. I think about when I wanted to be married and I just wasn't as ready as I thought I was, until I was really ready and then I didn't worry about it. I got married 6 months later to my amazing man, Ron!
Third thought: It is okay to grieve the loss of dreams. It is about progression and taking our time on the path. Some people have their dreams come to pass, but there will be roadblocks later on and it might be even more painful than having had it earlier.
Last thought: Our lives have purpose and our lives are dependent upon Trust in something greater. I believe it is because of God, his son, Jesus Christ and a hope of eternal life. Some people think differently.
Those were the rest of my thoughts from Saturday. It just took a while to write it down here.
-Hannah
Pretty much here is the rest of the story.
The point I was trying to make in the previous post, which did NOT happen, was that forgiveness is really important in our lives. And who a better person to practice on than God!
He doesn't NEED our forgiveness because he hasn't wronged us, but often times when our dreams are shattered to become better than what we had in store, we feel wronged and we have to practice forgiving Him and ourselves.
Second thought: Some people are just not ready for what they most want. I think about when I wanted to be married and I just wasn't as ready as I thought I was, until I was really ready and then I didn't worry about it. I got married 6 months later to my amazing man, Ron!
Third thought: It is okay to grieve the loss of dreams. It is about progression and taking our time on the path. Some people have their dreams come to pass, but there will be roadblocks later on and it might be even more painful than having had it earlier.
Last thought: Our lives have purpose and our lives are dependent upon Trust in something greater. I believe it is because of God, his son, Jesus Christ and a hope of eternal life. Some people think differently.
Those were the rest of my thoughts from Saturday. It just took a while to write it down here.
-Hannah
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Big Bee Outside My Window.
So the bee is gone, but we have had some recent viewers see this blog. I hope you find it exciting because I am a newer blogger and I find that some blogs just have lots of pictures with stories and some have more substantial material. I am probably in the category of the later.
But I wanted to write about some really cool insights about myself and Ron lately.
Hopefully I can write them all down from what I remember because it was past midnight when we went to bed last night and I only wrote a few thoughts down as "reminders" so I could write about them today. So come with me on this journey and we will see how much I remember.....:D
First of all:
Went for an hour, fifteen minute drive to my sister's last night to go grocery shopping with her and to see my cute little 6 week old nephew. My sister LOATHES grocery shopping and so any company she can have she welcomes it. On the way there I blasted the stereo and sang at the top of my lungs with the windows down and my hand waving in the breeze. I LOVED it. Ron and I went on a date last night and I was craving some alone time, so I took a drive. It was beautiful.
I arrived at the designated store and then chatted with my sister about life. Benji was blessed when my papa and mom were in town and it seemed like an incredible thing to hear about what Benji has in store for him. For all of the NON-LDS folk that happen to stumble upon this blog, in the LDS Chruch, when children are born, they are given a name and a blessing in front of the congregation that they were born in. This is somewhat similar to an infant baptism in the Catholic church, but actually really different. Basically, a father (typically, but not always) stands in front of the congregation and gives his child a name (the name they will be known by on the records of the church) and then a blessing. The blessing is very similar to a prayer that is pronounced upon that infant. There is more to it than that, but I don't feel this is the appropriate venue to discuss Ideological beliefs in depth. If you have further curiosity, visit here or leave a comment, and I can personally discuss more with you. Needless to say, it was great talking to my sister about what has been going on in her life and her children's lives. We also talked about my life and what is going on in it.
There were a couple of things that I came away from the conversation with. They are as follows:
-Forgiveness. I have a had a couple of conversations with siblings, spouse and friends and I have decided that Forgiveness is probably one of the important actions one can ever take. Far too much crap is held on to make people miserable. This is what I have learned: you have to love yourself and invite God's love into your life. Once you have started to love yourself, you have to accept yourself, weaknesses and all. You are not perfect, nor will you ever be. And when you mess up, forgive yourself, change/learn from it, and be a better person. And when others are that way, pray for the strength to forgive them and accept them as you do yourself. This was taught by Jesus Christ in the Old and New Testaments: Love the Lord they God and Love thy neighbor AS THYSELF. I know it is hard, especially with so many messed up situations nowadays, but if you learn how to this, you will be much more happy than those around.
To be continued....
There were a couple of things that I came away from the conversation with. They are as follows:
-Forgiveness. I have a had a couple of conversations with siblings, spouse and friends and I have decided that Forgiveness is probably one of the important actions one can ever take. Far too much crap is held on to make people miserable. This is what I have learned: you have to love yourself and invite God's love into your life. Once you have started to love yourself, you have to accept yourself, weaknesses and all. You are not perfect, nor will you ever be. And when you mess up, forgive yourself, change/learn from it, and be a better person. And when others are that way, pray for the strength to forgive them and accept them as you do yourself. This was taught by Jesus Christ in the Old and New Testaments: Love the Lord they God and Love thy neighbor AS THYSELF. I know it is hard, especially with so many messed up situations nowadays, but if you learn how to this, you will be much more happy than those around.
To be continued....
Thursday, July 5, 2012
What is the deal.....
So they never talk about the anxiety that comes with life changes.
No I am not pregnant, at least that I know of.
I guess that it is just hard when you anticipate stuff. Especially when it seems so far away.
Friday, June 22, 2012
"Back to the days of Christopher Robin and Pooh"
It is so amazing to me how clear the past really is, how much living in the present is a challenge and how unpredictable the future really is.
I feel I have been reminiscing often lately and would like to invite you on a quick journey.
Today: Tried to find the location of a building and got side tracked on a video from a childhood friend. His younger siblings are really my good friends but I spent a lot of time at his house growing up because he was my oldest sister's best friend. It is a beautiful tale of a family dear to my heart. There are more memories caught up in this one family than I can write in a whole book. Unfortunately, at this time, my memory is shot and will not do justice to them. Needless to say, I am grateful for them.
Yesterday: Going through old messages on facebook and finding out what people really thought of me. I have a friend I have known for over 10 years and she wrote a journal entry about how we became friends and how she felt that I was one of the only people who didn't give up on her. How could I ever give up on her? Or on any one? I will say this: I find it easy to give up on things that are not giving energy back, positive or negative. There are certain people in my life that I will always communicate with, even after they pass this life. I believe these people know who they are, but some might not. This is not the time, nor the venue in which I will say who they are, but I am grateful for them! For their loving friendships and support. Sometimes older, sometimes the same, sometimes younger.
A couple of days ago: Staring at a picture that was taken literally minutes after I was sealed to my eternal companion. It sits on my desk right next to my computer at work. We looked so good as a couple. Happiness radiated from our smiles and excitement for what lay ahead. We had no idea what we were getting into. Not the marriage thing, because I could not ask for a better marriage. But the trials and stresses that would come along the way. Didn't expect those. Still not sure of what the future holds, but keeping things in a balance and realizing there is a greater plan already out there and is waiting to be explored.
A week ago: Organizing our house and giving unwanted things to DI or recycling what papers we can. Going through some of my mission planners and telling Ron what some of the pictures meant. Being reminded of one of the greatest struggles of my life and how it was for me. I can say I loved my mission only because I gave up myself and became a newer, better person. It is so funny. I thought I exercised faith before my mission. Then I thought I couldn't have experienced the most faith promoting experiences as the ones on my mission. Well, everything since my missions has been a faith promoting experience really. And I am beginning to accept that this is how it will be for the rest of my life. *Shrug* (Keeping this as a memory for when I am teaching posterity what it is all about)
Two weeks ago: Scene: My sister's bedroom. People present: Oldest sister, Older sister, Me and my mother. We talk about the dedication of the Frankfurt temple, how I don't really remember anything of Germany, different idiosyncrasies we have as a family. Talking about life and what things are going on. I really enjoy these moments with my family because it seems they are few and far between. Moments when I really just get to see my sisters for who they really are and I feel excepted for being really me. I cherish these moments.
I read some blogs and think to myself: "I wonder what other people are thinking when they read so and so's blog? Is the life they portray online the reality of which they live? Or is it what they wish was happening and isn't? Most of the blogs I read are not updated daily and it is a way for those people to journal what is going on. I want this blog to be the same, but I also want it to be a place where I can write my thoughts and get feedback. It will be a time before it because something that I do everyday, but it is a goal to see how long I can keep up the writing.
So thanks for going on my little excursion of thoughts. I hope you enjoyed the ride! What is something you have reminisced about recently?
I feel I have been reminiscing often lately and would like to invite you on a quick journey.
Today: Tried to find the location of a building and got side tracked on a video from a childhood friend. His younger siblings are really my good friends but I spent a lot of time at his house growing up because he was my oldest sister's best friend. It is a beautiful tale of a family dear to my heart. There are more memories caught up in this one family than I can write in a whole book. Unfortunately, at this time, my memory is shot and will not do justice to them. Needless to say, I am grateful for them.
Yesterday: Going through old messages on facebook and finding out what people really thought of me. I have a friend I have known for over 10 years and she wrote a journal entry about how we became friends and how she felt that I was one of the only people who didn't give up on her. How could I ever give up on her? Or on any one? I will say this: I find it easy to give up on things that are not giving energy back, positive or negative. There are certain people in my life that I will always communicate with, even after they pass this life. I believe these people know who they are, but some might not. This is not the time, nor the venue in which I will say who they are, but I am grateful for them! For their loving friendships and support. Sometimes older, sometimes the same, sometimes younger.
A couple of days ago: Staring at a picture that was taken literally minutes after I was sealed to my eternal companion. It sits on my desk right next to my computer at work. We looked so good as a couple. Happiness radiated from our smiles and excitement for what lay ahead. We had no idea what we were getting into. Not the marriage thing, because I could not ask for a better marriage. But the trials and stresses that would come along the way. Didn't expect those. Still not sure of what the future holds, but keeping things in a balance and realizing there is a greater plan already out there and is waiting to be explored.
A week ago: Organizing our house and giving unwanted things to DI or recycling what papers we can. Going through some of my mission planners and telling Ron what some of the pictures meant. Being reminded of one of the greatest struggles of my life and how it was for me. I can say I loved my mission only because I gave up myself and became a newer, better person. It is so funny. I thought I exercised faith before my mission. Then I thought I couldn't have experienced the most faith promoting experiences as the ones on my mission. Well, everything since my missions has been a faith promoting experience really. And I am beginning to accept that this is how it will be for the rest of my life. *Shrug* (Keeping this as a memory for when I am teaching posterity what it is all about)
Two weeks ago: Scene: My sister's bedroom. People present: Oldest sister, Older sister, Me and my mother. We talk about the dedication of the Frankfurt temple, how I don't really remember anything of Germany, different idiosyncrasies we have as a family. Talking about life and what things are going on. I really enjoy these moments with my family because it seems they are few and far between. Moments when I really just get to see my sisters for who they really are and I feel excepted for being really me. I cherish these moments.
I read some blogs and think to myself: "I wonder what other people are thinking when they read so and so's blog? Is the life they portray online the reality of which they live? Or is it what they wish was happening and isn't? Most of the blogs I read are not updated daily and it is a way for those people to journal what is going on. I want this blog to be the same, but I also want it to be a place where I can write my thoughts and get feedback. It will be a time before it because something that I do everyday, but it is a goal to see how long I can keep up the writing.
So thanks for going on my little excursion of thoughts. I hope you enjoyed the ride! What is something you have reminisced about recently?
Sunday, June 17, 2012
"And They Were of One Heart and One Mind"
Ron got to speak to one of his good friends and little brothers today: Cody Temperini! I have never met this person, but he seems pretty incredible. He just 16 when he found the Gospel of Jesus Christ and joined it. A year later Ron got to serve in the same congregation as he was living and they were instant pals. Cody just returned from serving a mission in Brasil and I know it was fun for Ron to talk to him. They are "of one heart and one mind".
But the title of my post is really about the powerhouse church meeting that we attended today. It was in our main worship service, Sacrament meeting, that the youth in our congregation gave a report of their service trip the completed this week. I know many of the people I associate with are Latter-day Saint (LDS) and so they know what youth conference is. However for those of you who are not LDS, I would like to explain a little. Like many Christian churches we have a youth program that helps strengthen their faith in Jesus Christ and helps them grow closer to God. They do this every Sunday during one of the hours of our three hour meeting times AND on another night of the week where they come together to fellowship one with another and help strengthen each other. They are taught, instructed and watched over by people serving in their congregation. Please note, unlike many Christian churches, these leaders are not paid to do this. It is a commitment they accept to fulfill for as long as they are needed there and they do it for free. Service, as set forth by the example of Jesus Christ, is one of the main foundations upon which the Gospel is built, and thus in turn, upon which the Church is built. Having a little background now, every year the youth and their leaders, plan a conference, or retreat as others would call it, where they grow in spirituality, love and witnesses of who Jesus Christ is and why they choose to follow him. That is what happened in our congregation this past week and it was really neat to hear what they had accomplished.
I currently live in Utah, specifically Pleasant Grove. There are about 75% LDS people in our congregation boundaries. About 50% of those people are active currently. So to give an idea, I grew up in Casselberry, Florida (a suburb of Orlando) and there were about 10 LDS youth in my high school, out of roughly 2500 students. I would say that is about the ratio of poeple who lived in my congregation boundaries and how many people were in the populations of the cities that encompassed our boundaries. So I would say where I grew up was about .004% LDS compared to the 75%LDS I live around currently. I don't know exactly what it is like living in such a heavily populated LDS area as a teenager, but I do remember what these "Youth Conferences" as LDS teenagers call them were like for me growing up. Today's report was very similar to how I felt then, almost 9 years to the day that I attended my last youth retreat.
The youth in our congregation traveled about 10 to 13 hours to get to a home built on one of the reservations in Arizona. There are 7 people living in a two bedroom house that is very worn down and needed a lot of fixing up. After having 12 to 15 hour days, these youth arrived Monday afternoon and came home last night. They worked on a lot of different things, the list of which I am working on getting a hold of. However, one of the most prevalent themes was how much the youth loved serving and working hard. They came together and learned how to love one another. They felt the love behind giving your all to someone else and helping them have a better life. They felt God's love for these people they served all week long. It made them love each other and themselves greater than they had before they left.
I was impressed that these youth understand what the whole picture is about. I was studying a couple of "talks" (speeches members of the church give each Sunday) today. They were written and delivered by Apostles of Jesus Christ. One is no longer living, but the other is. These two men were sharing a similar message as the youth of my congregation today: God loves us! He wants us to be happy. He has given us each other to love and learn from so that we can eventually become like him. That is what this life is about: preparing to meet and becoming like Jesus Christ, and God, Our Heavenly Father who sent Jesus Christ. That is what it is about.
I love Sunday's like these that allow me to reflect about what it is really about.
I hope it was a great day for everyone else! And Happy Father's Day! Celebrate Fathers and Families.
But the title of my post is really about the powerhouse church meeting that we attended today. It was in our main worship service, Sacrament meeting, that the youth in our congregation gave a report of their service trip the completed this week. I know many of the people I associate with are Latter-day Saint (LDS) and so they know what youth conference is. However for those of you who are not LDS, I would like to explain a little. Like many Christian churches we have a youth program that helps strengthen their faith in Jesus Christ and helps them grow closer to God. They do this every Sunday during one of the hours of our three hour meeting times AND on another night of the week where they come together to fellowship one with another and help strengthen each other. They are taught, instructed and watched over by people serving in their congregation. Please note, unlike many Christian churches, these leaders are not paid to do this. It is a commitment they accept to fulfill for as long as they are needed there and they do it for free. Service, as set forth by the example of Jesus Christ, is one of the main foundations upon which the Gospel is built, and thus in turn, upon which the Church is built. Having a little background now, every year the youth and their leaders, plan a conference, or retreat as others would call it, where they grow in spirituality, love and witnesses of who Jesus Christ is and why they choose to follow him. That is what happened in our congregation this past week and it was really neat to hear what they had accomplished.
I currently live in Utah, specifically Pleasant Grove. There are about 75% LDS people in our congregation boundaries. About 50% of those people are active currently. So to give an idea, I grew up in Casselberry, Florida (a suburb of Orlando) and there were about 10 LDS youth in my high school, out of roughly 2500 students. I would say that is about the ratio of poeple who lived in my congregation boundaries and how many people were in the populations of the cities that encompassed our boundaries. So I would say where I grew up was about .004% LDS compared to the 75%LDS I live around currently. I don't know exactly what it is like living in such a heavily populated LDS area as a teenager, but I do remember what these "Youth Conferences" as LDS teenagers call them were like for me growing up. Today's report was very similar to how I felt then, almost 9 years to the day that I attended my last youth retreat.
The youth in our congregation traveled about 10 to 13 hours to get to a home built on one of the reservations in Arizona. There are 7 people living in a two bedroom house that is very worn down and needed a lot of fixing up. After having 12 to 15 hour days, these youth arrived Monday afternoon and came home last night. They worked on a lot of different things, the list of which I am working on getting a hold of. However, one of the most prevalent themes was how much the youth loved serving and working hard. They came together and learned how to love one another. They felt the love behind giving your all to someone else and helping them have a better life. They felt God's love for these people they served all week long. It made them love each other and themselves greater than they had before they left.
I was impressed that these youth understand what the whole picture is about. I was studying a couple of "talks" (speeches members of the church give each Sunday) today. They were written and delivered by Apostles of Jesus Christ. One is no longer living, but the other is. These two men were sharing a similar message as the youth of my congregation today: God loves us! He wants us to be happy. He has given us each other to love and learn from so that we can eventually become like him. That is what this life is about: preparing to meet and becoming like Jesus Christ, and God, Our Heavenly Father who sent Jesus Christ. That is what it is about.
I love Sunday's like these that allow me to reflect about what it is really about.
I hope it was a great day for everyone else! And Happy Father's Day! Celebrate Fathers and Families.
Monday, June 11, 2012
Happy Anniversary
I was reading a friends’ blog today and realized that I never wrote about out our first year of marriage.
Here are some of the highlights:
Got married in the wonderful, beautiful Castle of Logan, Utah. It was a beautiful day and almost all my
extended family were able to witness it. It was truly a beautiful day. So grateful I got to make promises
with my bestest friend!
August, 2011- Went to Portland, OR for a belated mini honeymoon/vacation. We went to Seaside, and
visited Tillamook (thank you Serena for an anti-climactic event). We also drove over a four day weekend
and I loved Portland. On our way back, I started feeling like we should not live in Provo anymore and
that I should graduate and focus on putting Ron through school. Within two weeks, I graduated, and we
moved to Pleasant Grove.
October, 2011- Lived in a beautifully, spacious apartment. Ron and I were both working full-time and it
was great. Felt like we should move to a less expensive place and we moved into a basement apartment
about 1.5 miles from where we lived. Have loved our ward here and felt like we should settle down here
until Ron was out of school. Life was great. Also, Ron graduated from Provo College with his Associates
degree in Graphic and Web Design. Pretty Awesome!
November 2011- Had Thanksgiving together and I got a new job! Goodbye Digis!
December 2011- Went to see Oklahoma! It looks so much like where my parents live in Missouri, that
I thought I was there, but it wasn’t. Ron and I got to celebrate in the traditions of the Beck Family
Christmas and I LOVED LOVED LOVED it. We found out that my oldest sister in law was moving back to
Utah (Hooray for us) and it was just a great time to be around family and goodness. I love my in-laws.
They are a totally ‘normal’ family, with quirks and personalities that make life colorful, but I just love the
spirit about them. And my husband is amazing, so I am really glad that I like my in-laws.
January 2012- Got to go see Brian Reagan live. It was a great evening. I have heard some of his stuff
before, but I think his live stuff was great. I was a little nervous, but this past all odds. Ron started school
part-time at Utah Valley University (UVU) and it was fun. End of January, Ron lost his job and things got
a little tight for a while.
May 2012- Ron started his second semester at UVU and I got a new job! Goodbye crazy PcCareSupport.
Pretty much, life calmed down and things could not have been better. My new job is doing accounts
receivable for an insulation company.
June 2012- Ron got this awesome job doing sampling. It is really flexible and even though it kind of cuts
into our weekend a little, it is nice to have some extra doe! Oh and Happy Anniversary!
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Did 14 hours just go by?
Work goes so much faster when I have things to do.
I was sick this past Monday and so yesterday and today (Wednesday) went by so much quicker. I have been working on an Excel file so that I can be more organized with our accounts. I hope it goes smoother this month than it did last month. I never thought that talking to people would become harder than it has, but it has. I really like emailing (never thought that would be the case) and I don't mind the phones really that much either, I just have found that people are harder to interact with since I got burned out with my previous two jobs. But it was a great day for work.
We made a super unhealthy dinner (Mac & Cheese with weenies and pork and beans). That being said, it was still really good! Then I took a wonderful nap (like an hour) and I brought my book home and I am excited because I am going to read. I just got to the section on Organic! It would be so fun to take a class from Michael Pollan.
Thoughts for the day:
I am less jealous of my friend, I really hate staring at the computer all day long; I really like reading blogs; I am grateful for "fresh" fruit (as fresh as probably GMO watermelon can come). I loved that it was cool today and I am not looking forward to summer; I am blessed with a great husband and wonderful ward.
Toodles!
I was sick this past Monday and so yesterday and today (Wednesday) went by so much quicker. I have been working on an Excel file so that I can be more organized with our accounts. I hope it goes smoother this month than it did last month. I never thought that talking to people would become harder than it has, but it has. I really like emailing (never thought that would be the case) and I don't mind the phones really that much either, I just have found that people are harder to interact with since I got burned out with my previous two jobs. But it was a great day for work.
We made a super unhealthy dinner (Mac & Cheese with weenies and pork and beans). That being said, it was still really good! Then I took a wonderful nap (like an hour) and I brought my book home and I am excited because I am going to read. I just got to the section on Organic! It would be so fun to take a class from Michael Pollan.
Thoughts for the day:
I am less jealous of my friend, I really hate staring at the computer all day long; I really like reading blogs; I am grateful for "fresh" fruit (as fresh as probably GMO watermelon can come). I loved that it was cool today and I am not looking forward to summer; I am blessed with a great husband and wonderful ward.
Toodles!
Monday, June 4, 2012
Coming to myself
I have been on a new kick lately of just reading things and becoming more informed. I stumbled upon a blog and I just love reading it. It helped me find a book I had read about 2.5 years ago. I found the book in one of those BYU Bookstore clearance shelves. It helped me when I was in the stage act after my mission and before marriage. So I picked up the book and started reading it again. I also happened to watch an informative documentary: "Food, Inc." which really started opening my eyes to what is really out there and what is around me. The book and documentary led me to another book, written by one of the featured commentators in the documentary. Very enlightening. Knowledge really is power.
I also have this strong urge to write. Ron is the writer in our family, but I want to write. I want to document. I want to master a weakness (perception really, not necessarily truth). I want to prove that, even though I have hated writing for a long time (thanks in part to all of those papers in college), I can do it and that I have a mind of my own and that I make a difference.
So here is my journey of writing. We will see how it comes along......
This evening, I watched another documentary on Queen. Pretty fascinating. I wonder what Freddie is doing in heaven. We made pizza, and I am really grateful because, even though the cheese is about $5, it makes about 3 pizzas and we custom create our own deliciousness. The pizza dough is only $.50 and the chicken is about $1.50. So in total, to make the pizzas we like, it is a little less thank $4. FOR A LARGE, STUFF CRUST PIZZA! And that is not with cheese on sale. Pretty awesome.
I had to go to the doctors today (had a nasty little UTI). I felt reassured that the Nurse Practitioners knew what they were doing and that my concerns were valid. Ron wen with me and it was a good experience. I remember when I was dating another boy that he and I were worried that we would run out of things to talk about. I find that with Ron, that is never the case. He has these awesome stories from when he was in high school with his two best friends. Or I will relate what I am thinking and it almost always sparks a great conversation. I am grateful for the fact that my best friend is my husband. I know people have seen me in the past, and have even been great supports, but this is even better than that. I know that that could be taken in an instant, but for the moment, I am happy.
I also have this strong urge to write. Ron is the writer in our family, but I want to write. I want to document. I want to master a weakness (perception really, not necessarily truth). I want to prove that, even though I have hated writing for a long time (thanks in part to all of those papers in college), I can do it and that I have a mind of my own and that I make a difference.
So here is my journey of writing. We will see how it comes along......
This evening, I watched another documentary on Queen. Pretty fascinating. I wonder what Freddie is doing in heaven. We made pizza, and I am really grateful because, even though the cheese is about $5, it makes about 3 pizzas and we custom create our own deliciousness. The pizza dough is only $.50 and the chicken is about $1.50. So in total, to make the pizzas we like, it is a little less thank $4. FOR A LARGE, STUFF CRUST PIZZA! And that is not with cheese on sale. Pretty awesome.
I had to go to the doctors today (had a nasty little UTI). I felt reassured that the Nurse Practitioners knew what they were doing and that my concerns were valid. Ron wen with me and it was a good experience. I remember when I was dating another boy that he and I were worried that we would run out of things to talk about. I find that with Ron, that is never the case. He has these awesome stories from when he was in high school with his two best friends. Or I will relate what I am thinking and it almost always sparks a great conversation. I am grateful for the fact that my best friend is my husband. I know people have seen me in the past, and have even been great supports, but this is even better than that. I know that that could be taken in an instant, but for the moment, I am happy.
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