I do Like People

Being an introvert is a strange thing. There are many aspects that come with this peculiar emotion type, and often times those aspects completely oppose one another. We don't always make sense and are often misunderstood; even by other introverts. We have a very hard time explaining ourselves and give off the impression that we are running away when, in fact, we are trying our best to do what is healthy for us. We don't always make the right decisions but are often ridiculed when we do. So I am making this post for two reasons:

1) I hope I can explain just a little of what it is like to be an introvert.

2) To get some of the feelings that I have off my chest.

I may make this into a continuing post, but we will see. :)

I want to touch on the misconception that introverts "Don't like people" or are hermits that don't want to have any social interaction. This just is not true. Indeed, to the extrovert (Or as I like to call them, "Normal" people.) we may seem like just that. However, it is much more complicated.

Most of the introverts that I have met (Including myself) actually love people! We have a deep and abiding love for those we come in contact with and honestly and truly wish to see the best for them. While we usually only have a select group of friends that we want to hang out with, we still do, overall, care about humanity and people in general. This being said it does not mean we like being around those people.

This is where normal people get confused...

That same group of friends that we hold dear to our hearts and love to be around may come to find out that it is STILL hard to get together with us because we just want to be alone or have already made plans that day and having to be around people more than once is just too much for us. Other people just don't get that. You see, whether you are an extrovert or introvert, it has nothing to do with the people itself. It is all about where you get your energy from.

I am an introvert. My wife is an extrovert. (Yes, it gets very hard and confusing sometimes.) Sometimes we go to social functions. Whether it be around a small group or large group of people it doesn't matter. I will still get drained and be exhausted when we get home. My wife, however, will be filled with joy and want to keep talking and have the energy to spare. Sometimes, when I am having a bad day, my wife is kind enough to take the kids out for an hour or two and leave me by myself. When she comes home I often feel much better and have the energy to keep going. I love my family dearly and I don't go to functions that I am not interested in or want to support the people. So it seems like my moods and actions are contradicting how I feel, but in truth, it is not.

This is the fundamental difference. It has nothing to do with whether or not you like the people you interact with that makes you an introvert. It's where you get your energy from. Do people give you energy or drain it?

I don't like to make my posts too long so I will leave the next point for my next post.

Tootles
-R

Have We Lost Our Humanity?

This is a question that most people don't even consider. Most of the time, I would say, we go about our daily life and never even think about how distant we are to everyone around us. When we walk down the street and pass by someone, what is our natural instinct? For must people I would say it would be just walk around them without saying a word. Some people may venture far enough to lift their head and node or even say "Hi" as they pass by. But how many people would stop and talk to them? How many would give the other a hug? What about a kiss? Most people who will read this blog may look at these questions and snarl there nose at the idea of getting that close to a total stranger, and to be completely honest, I am right there with you. So I have one more question.

What is wrong with us???

Human beings are social creatures. Despite how solitary you may think you are the simple fact remains that we, as human beings, crave contact with other human beings including physical and emotional interaction. We were meant to be with one another. It is in our DNA. I want you to take a moment and think about "The old days". I'm talking about back when America was still pretty new. Think about the people of that age. We still had much of our culture from England at that time and it was not uncommon to greet someone with a hug or even a small kiss on the cheek. Today, they still greet people with a kiss in Europe, though I suspect that has greatly diminished as well. I once heard of a study that was done on American teenagers compared with teenagers in Europe. They found that coming out of school, American teenagers where all either walking alone barely acknowledging anyone around them, hunched over looking at their cell phones, or if they were in a group, they were not making much contact with the others. The European teenagers, however, were quite the contrast. While they still had some of the same attributes, the researchers noticed that much more people where leaving the school with arms intertwined or holding hands or hugging goodbye. I wish I had a reference for this, but I was only told this by my professor in college. Though I don't have a reference, there are plenty of studies that show the importance of touch. One such being this article from the NY Times.http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/23/health/23mind.html?_r=0

I believe the hesitation we have to be close to another person is primarily instinctive and primal. When we think of the period of the "Hunter Gatherer", or prehistoric time period, it's easy to see why we are hesitant to get close to anything. Back then getting close to another person or any living thing could potentially mean death, and if you think about it, we really haven't evolved much since then. We are still living life watching over out backs and being scared of death. So we trust nothing. And sure, we have good reason with the world we live in.

But just because it is instinctive does not mean it is what we need or really what our body wants. We need each other. We need physical touch. I don't know what it is but there is some sort of energy that is passed from one person to another when you are touched. Don't believe me? Watch this video and listen how these total strangers started to care for the others after just a brief moment of awkwardness.



We are social creatures and need to get back to being social..... And this is coming from one of the most anti social people you may know. I have some work to do.

Faith, Hope, Charity

So this isn't a baby update. That is in a week and a day. But there have been many things on my mind and I wanted to write them out. It's kinda long. Basically, It is a part of my witness (testimony) of truth! Read at your own risk.



I have a boss, K, who came out and did annual inspections with me on Thursday. (Quick update: I am an apartment manager for a 51-unit complex). After a long day (like from 9 to 3 straight) my boss left. I told her we (Ron and I) were going on a date to Lake Oswego. She wished me luck. I didn't tell her that I was going to the Temple with my husband because I didn't feel like explaining what it was all about. While we were doing inspections we came across a good handful of religious people (the decor in their homes were a dead give away). I asked her if she was religious. She answered no. During the endowment session all I could think about was my boss. She is a single 32 year old woman who lives alone and works super hard. I thought about what would happen if she joined the church. I thought about how being a single adult in our church is really hard. Anything outside of the "normal" is hard. With all that being said, the answer I kept getting was "Hope". The Savior brings Hope to all of God's children. As long as we are making and keeping covenants, we have hope, and we are not lost. We are known to the Great Shepherd.

Which brings me to my next thought: I want to make it home. And the only way I can do that is by following truth and eternal laws. Today I went to the library and before going in, I was stopped by a couple of people asking if I supported Same-Sex Marriage in the state of Oregon. I had to stop and think about what they were asking because I was rushing. But this is how I responded: "I believe in equal rights, but I also believe in the institution of Marriage." I love that in a simple, non-offensive, but straightforward way, I was able to share my beliefs with others not of my faith. Too often I find it hard to "open my mouth" and share the knowledge that I have gained through personal experience. I know that Marriage is ordained of God and that anything that goes against eternal law (in this case the Law of Chastity) is not what I want.

Which brings me to my last thought: the annual general Relief Society meeting that occurs every last Saturday of September. Tonight they especially focused on making and keeping covenants and how our love for Jesus Christ is indicative of our love for him and Heavenly Father. It has become clearer to me how much God really loves His children and how he has made it possible to return to live with Him. In the endowment session with Ron, I felt the love of Heavenly Father and how important it is to him that all of his children who choose to live with him, come back to him.

Like so many other times, words fail me this evening. I have been greatly edified by the Spirit and its personal teachings to me of what this life is truly about, of how I want to get back to Heavenly Father and how to go about help others who want to return to him, return to him.

These are some of the things I KNOW:
-I am a daughter of God.
-I can return to live with him someday.
-There has been a plan given so I can become like him.
-He loves me more than any words can express. And he loves all of his children that way.
-I love him and I show him this love by making and keeping promises with him to live the way he has commanded me to live.
-The promises I have made are real and binding. They bring me peace and hope and courage to endure to the end.
-I want to live my life in a way that people can tell I love God and that that is what will bring them most happiness in this life.
-I want to shout it from the rooftops that I know God lives and loves us and has given us a way to be truly happy and return to live with him FOREVER.

These are just SOME of the things I know. I believe all things, I hope all things, I have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report, or praiseworthy, I seek after these things.

-Hannah Richins Beck

Shane: 1 month update

One of my best friends posts when her kids have significant milestones. So I am going to try and follow this format. I really like it and it causes me to have to reflect over the past 4 weeks to see how a little person has grown so much.

Hope you enjoy!

The day he was born.

This is where we started out!

Mama holding him in the operating room.

 

In the recovery room. Our first family portrait.

Still in the recovery room. Look how tuckered he is. He just got yanked out of his mama. I would be tired too.

His second day here! With some of the visitors that came. We were lucky to have just the right amount come and visit. Thanks to all who came and were conscious of the time you stayed. His mama really appreciated not having to kick anyone out for overstaying their welcome. (Love you all!)

Peacefully slumbering in our room.

The real audience catcher. Seriously, how can he looks so cute so early?!

Papa Mark!

and Minky! (Yes, you can call him Tre)

The day we got home. It was our 2nd anniversary so this is Shane and us. Please don't mind the puffy face. Because I had an IV with tons of fluid and salt, it took a couple of days for my puffiness to go down. Nanny and Poppy arrived the next day.

 He was blessed on 6-16-2013. He was 9 days old. The members of his blessing circle were: Ronald D. Beck Jr. (he gave the blessing, this is is Daddy), Kelly Fielding (Bishop), Laron Fisk, Mark Temperini, Ronald D. Beck Sr., Robert J. Richins Jr. It was a simple, sweet blessing. We are very lucky to have this little man in our presence. He has a great work to do.

Daddy getting him ready for the big day.

Everyone in the Family. (Missing Papa and Nana Miller, but they were there in Spirit)

Nanny and Poppy Beck

Sweet expression.

 And the party after the blessing..... More like lunch.

3 generation picture. Maybe we can photoshop Grandpa Larry Beck into the picture.

Minky is holding him.

Minky and Papa. Love it!

Poppy is holding him. 

We didn't really take pictures after Nanny and Poppy left. Mainly because Hannah is a photographer, but doesn't always think about taking the camera out.

So, these are the latest ones.

Love you all! Excited for this next month and all the adventures that are coming.

Afternoon of the 4th of July. We had the sliding glass door open and he slept through all of the noises.

And this is today: July 7th, 2013. Happy 1 month old baby. Sorry for the poor resolution. It was from my camera phone that is old school.

Our Little Shane

HE IS FINALLY HERE!!

Hannah woke up at around 3 am and told me she was having steady contractions and may need to go to the hospital. Instinctively  I jumped out of bed; ready to go right away. She assured me that he was not coming right away so I was able to take a quick shower and ran to the store to pick up a few things.

At this point, Hannah was just very uncomfortable when she had a contraction. They had been happening every 3-4 minutes and hurt enough that she was having trouble talking. When we got to the hospital (5 am) and had her checked she was dilated to a 3 and and was about 80% effaced. They were still unsure if she was in full labor so they monitored her for a few hours.

Around 8 am she was officially admitted. I tried my best to help her by walking with her through the halls and pressing on her lower back to help ease the pain. By this point her pain was pretty strong and it was very difficult for me to watch her in pain. Her contractions were a steady 2-3 mins apart by this point. However Shane's heart beat was pretty steady and not being affected by the contractions. Later we learned that is not really normal. It meant he wasn't low enough for the contractions to push him down to help him come out.

At 10 am the midwife came in and explained that we could either wait it out or go ahead and break Hannah's water and see if that would help him descend. We went ahead and broke her water and all hell broke lose. Side note: They found meconuim in the bag of water. Warning sign #1.

After only about 5-10 minutes she began to have very intense labor pains and began to scream in pain. I have never felt so much love and anguish at the same time. For most of the contractions I kept myself together pretty well watching my wife go through such pain. It wasn't until Hannah said through gritted teeth and tears "Ron, I love you" that I lost it. My eyes began to flow with tears of love for my wonderful wife and the struggles she was going through for our family. I couldn't believe that in the middle of such pain and anguish she would exclaim her love for me and not hate me.

As time went on Hannah became more and more, let's say, "Intense" with her word usage. Which is completely understandable. The nurses told us that on average women usually have about 1-2 minutes between contractions. That is what gives them the energy to make it through the next spike. Hannah, however, was having 1-2 minutes long contractions happening about every 20-30 seconds, giving her no time to recuperate. She was basically going 1 step forward then 3 steps back. She screamed for the pain to stop and they gave her fentanyl to numb the pain. It honestly did not seem to work very much, as she was still yelling obscenities. She tried moving around, getting in the bath, sat on a blow-up ball, and lots of yelling all in the effort to dull the pain. They did little good.

Much to my, and definitely her, satisfaction we finally gave in and got her an epidural at around 11 am. This was a difficult endeavor because she was forced to stay completely still and was still having very intense contractions. She was just a tad drugged up as this time and was pretty loopy; my favorite being while she was in the peak of a contraction she started mumbling/yelling the word "Water park". I asked "You want to go to a water park?" She looked straight at me with her eyes about to bulge out of her head and just said "Mmmhmm, Lets go".  One of my favorites, as was our nurses', was she tried yelling, "Oh, FuuuuuuuuDDDDGGEEE! This hurts!" I tried really hard not to laugh, and she said, "Don't laugh at me! I have to get this epidural in." I could see the nurses laughing too. (Hannah can now laugh about it, but it was pretty intense). It then became procedure to plan out next vacation every time she had a contraction after that. When the epidural finally kicked in she exclaimed how much she loved it..... about 20 times.... Within the first 5 minutes.

With the contractions manageable and having been up since 3 am I was finally able to relax. I no longer had to see her scream in pain and she was comfortable. I decided to take a short tap while I could before the baby came. I was awoken by a few nurses, the nurse-midwife, and Hannah all talking. They explained to me that while I was asleep the nurse-midwife had checked Hannah again and found that she was only at a 4-5 and that Shane's head was coming down at an angle. Warning sign #2. It had been ruffly 12 hours of consistent contractions and he was not progressing. She had actually started contractions at midnight, but didn't tell me until she woke up to super strong ones at 3. We also found out that Hannah had developed a 102 fever and they were concerned it would transfer to the baby. Warning sign #3. It was because of this that he eventually had to have an IV in his arm. We were both very scared and was unsure of what the future would hold. Hannah, being the beautiful spirit she is, asked to have a blessing, however, I was in no condition to give one. We called out home teacher and within about 5 mins they were there. Brother Reynolds gave Hannah a beautiful blessing that proved to calm her more then it did me. They also gave me a blessing of comfort. This is when we decided she needed to have a c-section in order to be safe for both her and Shane.

They prepared her and I to transferred her to the OR. While they were preparing her I was forced to wait in a room for them to come get me. After the hustle and bustle of getting ready I was all alone in a room with only my thoughts to keep me company. As any father or husband can attest, when something happens to your loved ones the only thoughts that run through your head are the most terrible outcomes you can think of.  I prayed to my Father at this time to please not take her or my baby's life. I was so scared that the only comfort I had was to pray to the one person who could make a difference. Looking back, I don't know if he answered my prayers or if he never intended to take them and just looked down at me saying "Oh Child, worry not" Either way all I could do was ask. So I did.

When they took me into the operating room Hannah was laying down with that blue curtain blocking what the doctors where doing to her stomach. I could have looked if I wanted to and see what exactly they were doing, but I knew I was already about to explode with emotion and did not need to that to give me more. I just sat down beside her and held her head and hands. Then it happened.

While we were looking into each others eyes we hear that distinct beautiful cry. Every parent knows exactly of what I am talking about. That cry that immediately tells you are are no longer just your own. You are a parent. He is presented to us and I look over to see my gorgeous child. Nothing can prepare you for that moment. The wait was over. Shane Dean Beck was here.

This is the journey of our first child. Or at least the end of the wait and the beginning of the life. After this point it was all downhill. We were blessed with no more complications and Hannah is recovering fast. We are now home and enjoying our new life. To finish up, here are a few more pictures and a video. Love you all.

The champion and her prize.

Our new family

In the attempt to take the last picture, the nurse taking the photo didn't  know how to use our camera and ended up taking this picture of us laughing.

We had originaly named Shane "Shane Richins Dean Beck" However we changed it to just Shane Dean beck.

Sitting, Wishing, Waiting

I think I have decided that there is purpose to having labor contractions, but no baby come out. As to what purpose that is, I have no idea. I mean, God wouldn't have purposeless things like this, would he?
I certainly hope not.

Shane is kicking me awesome as I write this post. He is trying to get his word in too. He is saying, "I want to come home, just let me out!" Maybe I am just optimistic, maybe he is not going to be such a happy creature when he first comes. Needless to say, he is creating action in my abdomen.

Ron is peacefully sleeping right now. It is 5:39 am and I have been up since 5 am. Yet another thing that is hopefully not purposeless. I tend to think that is nature preparing me for the months of feedings I am about to be committed to. Maybe yes, maybe no. Only the universe knows.

Life is exciting however. I know it is a little frustrating to have to wait, but I think I am going to look back at this time and realize how special it was. Life without children. Being able to snuggle with my husband without wondering about other individuals and their wellbeing. A precious time that I do not wish away. So I guess this waiting is for a purpose: letting me soak up all the time I have left with my incredible and loving companion. Ps. Our 2nd anniversary is in week. Crazy how fast that went, yet how slow it creeped along. Love Ronald Dean Beck, Jr. more than words can say.

We are still here!

I can see why people don't update their blogs often, unless for a specific reason: keeping a 'scrapbook', money, information/education. There are lots of reasons I suppose.

Ron really likes to write, but has to be inspired. I hate to write, but I have been warned that I need to.

So here is how we are doing:

I am having a baby. I know we announced it on Facebook, but I don't think we have put any of our pictures up. This is at 20ish weeks. Ron loves me pregnant, for many different reasons (some literally, some facetiously).

We went out to Astoria, OR for a date. We visited a shipwreck.

We loved it. It was really cold. But we bought a new camera and had fun exploring.

And most recently, we had a baby shower for little Baby Beck, hosted by the AMAZING DEE! Love her.

Cute little clothes for a our little boy! So exciting.

So that is a little bit more of what is going on in our lives.
P.s. I am reading this book


Everyone should read it.

At least I say so.

Who is He In Yonder Stall?

I just finished watching a TV show that made a very strong impact on me. I won't disclose the name of the show for the fact that there is a lot of filth in the show, and I have resolved not to watch it any more (it's second season just ended and won't start up until this September----after which I will have had a baby and we will have just moved :)

However, I do want to share some thoughts from finishing the second season.
1) Love is the most powerful emotion that I have ever felt. I have felt lots of anger in my life, but love trumps it all. I wept last night at the side of my husband for the fact that I love him more than words can ever express.
2) Deep connection is what part of what the marriage covenant is based on. Ron and I talked about the need to keep connected, and I am in AWE at home many people never connect on the deepest level of themselves, let alone share it with someone. I am grateful to a husband who is aware of my "sensitivities" and is gentle with them.
3) The more I experience Mortality, the more I come to understand the depth of the Atonement (Sacrifice) of Jesus Christ. That is why I entitled this post "Who is He in Yonder Stall?". There is a man, Jordan Kimball Fowers who taught me just the beginning of the Sacrifice and love of the Savior. When he passed away, I was privileged to attend his funeral and I wept at one of the songs the Men's Chorus sang.

http://youtu.be/uhJ0WeVTZBY
Here are the lyrics:

"Who is he in yonder stall?
At who's feet the shepherds fall?

'Tis the Lord, Oh wondrous story
'Tis the Lord, Oh King of Glory.
At his feet we humbly fall
Crown Him, Crown Him Lord of all.

Who is he who stands and weeps
At the grave where Lazarus sleeps?

'Tis the Lord, Oh wondrous story
'Tis the Lord, the King of Glory.
At his feet we humbly fall
Crown Him, Crown Him Lord of all.

Who is he in Calvary's Thrones
Asks for blessings on his fold

'Tis the Lord, Oh wondrous story
'Tis the Lord, the King of Glory.
At his feet we humbly fall
Crown Him, Crown Him Lord of all.

Who is He, who from the grave,
Comes to seek and help and save

It is the Lord, Oh wondrous story
'Tis the Lord, the King of Glory
At his feet we humbly fall
Crown Him, Crown Him Lord of all. "


I never listen to this recording without literally weeping. I love Him, I love all that He has done for me. I am grateful to my Father for giving Him to us.
Words fail me, but that is as much as I can write.

I am excited to see them one day. "Soon" relatively speaking. I wouldn't want to see them prematurely, but I am excited to see them. Along with lots of other people.

The Gospel of Jesus Christ is restored, and the ultimate blessings that God wants to give his children are here. I love Him for his gratitude in giving such gifts and making them available today.
 -Hannah
  

Great Christmas! But no pictures...

So we had a great Christmas! I admit that this year was a tad bit strange because this was the first year that I did not fly back to Oklahoma. It was Hannah and I's first Christmas on our own..... And we didn't have a Camera... : (

Although we were not with my family back in Oklahoma, we were with our surrogate family here in Oregon, the Temperinis. I LOVE them! We had a great time with some great people. Curt and Kiley came over with their 2 children Cassey(Cubby) and Jaxon. They are some of the cutest little stinkers I have ever seen and although Cubby pretty much hates me (not really, she just gives me evil stares) I loved having them around, especially Jaxon's cute little smile.

One thing that I realized this year was how grateful I am for the family I have all around me. Hannah and I just recently moved out to the northwest and really didn't know very many people, but the few people we did know have been indispensable. If it were not for the Temperinis we would not have had a place to stay and would not have found the home we have today. If it were not for Tom Gibbons I would not have the job I have and would not be able to afford anything, let alone the new place we are renting. Also, with Hannah being pregnant we have a FLOOD of people saying how they have toys, car seats, swings, cribs, cloths, and almost everything we would need for a baby that they will give to us. We are so lucky and blessed! I know that it is no longer Thanksgiving, but I am really grateful for all the help and love we have received.

Once again, we don't have a working camera, but as soon as we do we will have pictures :)