This is a question that most people don't even consider. Most of the time, I would say, we go about our daily life and never even think about how distant we are to everyone around us. When we walk down the street and pass by someone, what is our natural instinct? For must people I would say it would be just walk around them without saying a word. Some people may venture far enough to lift their head and node or even say "Hi" as they pass by. But how many people would stop and talk to them? How many would give the other a hug? What about a kiss? Most people who will read this blog may look at these questions and snarl there nose at the idea of getting that close to a total stranger, and to be completely honest, I am right there with you. So I have one more question.
What is wrong with us???
Human beings are social creatures. Despite how solitary you may think you are the simple fact remains that we, as human beings, crave contact with other human beings including physical and emotional interaction. We were meant to be with one another. It is in our DNA. I want you to take a moment and think about "The old days". I'm talking about back when America was still pretty new. Think about the people of that age. We still had much of our culture from England at that time and it was not uncommon to greet someone with a hug or even a small kiss on the cheek. Today, they still greet people with a kiss in Europe, though I suspect that has greatly diminished as well. I once heard of a study that was done on American teenagers compared with teenagers in Europe. They found that coming out of school, American teenagers where all either walking alone barely acknowledging anyone around them, hunched over looking at their cell phones, or if they were in a group, they were not making much contact with the others. The European teenagers, however, were quite the contrast. While they still had some of the same attributes, the researchers noticed that much more people where leaving the school with arms intertwined or holding hands or hugging goodbye. I wish I had a reference for this, but I was only told this by my professor in college. Though I don't have a reference, there are plenty of studies that show the importance of touch. One such being this article from the NY Times.
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/23/health/23mind.html?_r=0
I believe the hesitation we have to be close to another person is primarily instinctive and primal. When we think of the period of the "Hunter Gatherer", or prehistoric time period, it's easy to see why we are hesitant to get close to anything. Back then getting close to another person or any living thing could potentially mean death, and if you think about it, we really haven't evolved much since then. We are still living life watching over out backs and being scared of death. So we trust nothing. And sure, we have good reason with the world we live in.
But just because it is instinctive does not mean it is what we need or really what our body wants. We need each other. We need physical touch. I don't know what it is but there is some sort of energy that is passed from one person to another when you are touched. Don't believe me? Watch this video and listen how these total strangers started to care for the others after just a brief moment of awkwardness.
We are social creatures and need to get back to being social..... And this is coming from one of the most anti social people you may know. I have some work to do.
