My Happiness Changes Constantly

My happiness is derived from the things I love. I love those things because I am passionate about them. My passion stems from my beliefs, and what I believe is constantly changing. Thus, my happiness changes constantly...

First, lets get off on the right foot. This idea is not always a bad thing. When I say my happiness changes constantly I do not just mean it goes down. It also goes up from time to time as well. What I would like to do is analyze this realization of mine one sentence at a time and I will explain my thoughts.

My happiness is derived from the things I love.

This is quite simple and is probably the same way most of you receive your happiness. The things I love make me happy, and by happy I mean joy. I am not talking about just laughing at a funny movie or the temporary relief that comes from various substances. I am talking about the joy you feel that stays with you. It is the joy that is always there even if you are in a bad mood or feeling down. It's the happiness that truly never leaves. These joys are hard to find and even harder to recognize. What is true joy and what is just being happy?

In my opinion this can be compared to the way a teenager feels when they meet their first "love" and the way they feel when they truly meet the love of their life. When we are in that first relationship we feel giddy and excited. We often describe this feeling with phrases like "They are all I can think about!" or "I get butterflies in my stomach!". Although these are happy feelings that are wonderful to feel, they do not last. Eventually we think about something else and the butterflies fly away. That's just life.

I love those things because I am passionate about them

For me the lasting joys that I desire come from those things I diligently search for and work hard to keep. These are the things that I am truly passionate about. Examples of these things in my life are my wife, my child, my religion, and things that I have found continual peace with such as playing guitar or being in nature. These things bring me joy, and I know this because I leave them feeling uplifted and lighter. It is not the masked feeling of "Its all I can think of!" It is the real feeling of the burdens being lifted. When you go and do something that just takes your mind of of your burdens it is like putting a bandage on a wound, but when you immerse yourself in those things that you are truly passionate about then that is like going to the doctor and taking the medicine you need to get better.

My passion stems from my beliefs

Not all things that I am passionate about stem from my beliefs, but those that do are the ones of which I speak. They are the ones that bring real joy. Although I find playing video games or buying Magic cards fun and I am actually passionate about them, they are not the things that bring true joy. This may be confusing for some to understand and even more confusing to find the difference in your own life, but try to keep up. :)

I don't know if you are like me, but my core beliefs are deep rooted. No one can change my mind about what i truly believe except myself and one of those beliefs is the importance of family. My family is everything to me. They are literally the reason why I do everything I do. This may sound bad, but I don't really care about myself. If everything were up to me and me alone I would probably be some beach bum somewhere never taking a shower with long raggedy hair, but I'm not and that's because I would be shirking my responsibilities as a husband and father. I have worked all my life to uphold the values that I believe in and those beliefs are what define my actions and therefor my life.

What I believe is constantly changing

Every single one of us work from the moment we have cognitive thought to find what it is that we truly belief in. Whether it is about religion, how we act with our friends, what our occupation is, or even what food we eat; we are constantly changing our beliefs. Some beliefs stay deep rooted and never change, others change the moment we have a significant talk with a good friend or after reading a good book. We go throughout our life trying to find what we believe without even realizing that those things we thought we knew are beginning to change. What I want everyone to know is that this is normal. And thank God for that! Can you imagine what your life would be like if you still believed everything you did when you were 5? Santa would still be real, cartoons would still be an accurate representation of everyday life, and farts would still be comedy gold!! (Ok, so maybe that's still true...) We change are beliefs constantly and this is a good thing.

Thus, my happiness changes constantly...

Finally, this brings me to the point of this post. Because of the constantly changing nature of our lives and how we change our own view points; our lives are filled with ups and downs. We all experience ups and downs and may even hate them, but they are the natural order of things. On top of all of that, you must remember that others are going through the same thing you are. Therefore, when someone gives you a snotty look or cuts you off in traffic, maybe something has changed in their life and their viewpoints have changed. Does that make them wrong? If you are thinking "yes" then remember that the next time you give someone a snotty look or cut someone off...because everyone has those days.

A good example of this is the most significant change in my life to date: the birth of my son. This was easily one of the most exciting, stressful, hard, amazing, trying, and important moments of my life. As you might expect, this even has taken me on an emotional roller coaster. Having a baby is hard! It's very taxing both mentally and physically, and yet people go through it again and again. Why do you think that is? It's because it's rewarding. and they reward outweighs the trials.

I guess what I am saying is life is hard, and it's actually meant to be that way. I constantly go through ups and downs both because of my depression and because...well, I am alive. I once heard a great quote from a book series I read and I completely agree. I don't remember it verbatim, but it basically said pain is an essential part of life and living. It is pain that helps remind us we are alive.